Everything Now
by kataract52
Summary: What if Nate failed to save the world in X-Man #74? What if he had to reboot time and start anew?
1. O Fortuna

**Author's Notes:** _This story was inspired by the 'Qabiri' storyline from the X-Man solo in the early 2000's. The villain was given powers equal to Phoenix, Galactus, Thanos, and other big guns – but he was defeated with relative ease and hasn't been back since. So what if he'd followed his story to its logical end and destroyed Earth-616? This fic heavily uses myths, archetypes, and symbolism. If anyone is interested in details, let me know and I'll include details after each chapter. Some people (like this one right here) really enjoy the deeper meanings but I think most readers are looking for entertainment and don't want to be distracted. As always, please review and enjoy!_

 **Chapter One: O Fortuna**

By the time Nate arrived, he was running over the bodies of his friends. The world was burning, just as the prophecies foretold, and he couldn't stop it. But for now, he held the broken front and last line of defense with an alternate version of his father – the hero known as Cyclops. They'd begun this fight as a team of twelve, but like a murderous version of "ten little monkeys", they were now a team of two.

Qabiri, the death bringer, raised his sword and said, "The deadwood must be burned."

Cyclops signaled for the B-team Avengers to attempt a Hail Mary. While Qabiri was distracted, the X-Men tried to flank him, but by the time they'd circled round, Quicksilver and Brother Voodoo were dead. Captain Marvel made a desperate break for deep space, where she hoped to escape the carnage, but the Shi'ar shot her down just like they'd shot down every other refugee from Earth.

"You fought admirably," Qabiri told them.

Nate looked to his father. "The Gaul attack?"

"You know I don't like that name," said Cyclops.

Nate lunged at their black-haired, tattoo-bearing murderer. With fierce bloodlust, he attacked again and again and again. Cyclops fell. Still, he fought on. He could not lose this fight or it would mean the death of his child and all the children on Earth.

With grace, Qabiri deflected his punches and kicks; fighting him was like fighting a black hole.

"Enough." The sword came down on Nate's neck.

In a fraction of a second, his heart shattered and burned and wept and was reborn. He was the most powerful telepath in the universe, so his mind accomplished even more by reaching out to the person his heart needed.

" _How can I fix this?"_ he asked Xavier.

" _We've got to reverse time! Quickly!"_

Time and space flexed inside out and imploded in a single, blinding flash.

* * *

 _The White Hot Room  
_ "Nate?" Jean greeted him. "As I live and breathe! What are you doing here?"

"Strictly speaking, you do neither," he teased. "I've come to train."

"You've never trained before."

"No choice. My world's been destroyed. I have to find a way to turn back time and stop it from happening."

She smiled serenely, "So you've come to the White Hot Room."

"I've already hurt so many people, and that was why I held back. I should've- I shouldn't have-"

"Make yourself at home."

She needn't have said it. The White Hot Room appeared different to everyone and served a myriad of needs. To Nate, it was a pearly white, colossal room capped in gold in-lays and ruby stones. A set of jade stairs led up beyond his sight. He couldn't see where they ended, but he was sure it was where he needed to be.

Up he sprinted.

The White Hot room had vanished. Only the unending jade stairs stretched on behind and ahead of him. Had he made a mistake?

Suddenly, he was in the Danger Room back on Earth. His team had just finished a training session and was heading to shower – exhausted but extremely pleased. As they stepped out, Cyclops stepped in, and hailed him.

"Nate! Have a minute?"

"Certainly."

"I was watching upstairs. That was quite impressive, and I don't impress easily."

"That's an understatement."

"Look," Scott offered a rare half-smile, "I know you haven't been here long and there's a lot of politics involved. But I hope you'll stay. With training and time, I'd like to see you replace me one day."

Nate said nothing.

"What's wrong? Isn't this what you've always wanted?"

The vision faded and Nate jogged up the jade stairs alone.

Resentment fueled him for the long time. Then fear set in. What purpose would the Room have to tempt him? He could think of none. Therefore, he concluded that the Room was no long in control – _he_ was. If he had that sort of power, why didn't he know it? Would these stairs never end?

Eventually, he stopped to rest, and silk pillows appeared. Pearly white faded to deep-sea darkness and floating lanterns appeared in every direction. A fountain served lemonade – his favorite! And then women appeared, as soft and easy as the lovely pillows, with clothes cut along their breasts and bottoms. A tall ginger embraced a slender one and they kissed tenderly.

"Excuse me," he said, "Perhaps you didn't see me. I don't mean to intrude on an intimate moment. If you'll allow me to finish this," he lifted his glass, "I'll be on my way."

"You're not aroused?" asked the petite woman.

"Not even a little. Can you tell me if you're a figment of my imagination? Or are you bait?"

"We're whatever you want us to be."

Together, they wrapped their arms around him. That's when he noticed the pillows were the color of skin and the buttons looked eerily like noses. The lanterns, too, watched hungrily. He wasn't a visitor, he was a meal!

"Answers _that_ question!" He shimmied out of their embrace and rushed away.

Suddenly, the infinite staircase didn't seem so long after all. He wanted to be far, _far_ away from the cannibal longue.

The staircase eventually leveled off, so he was no longer climbing but strolling along a plateau. The air was cooler and thinner. He reckoned he was miles up by now – if the Room obeyed the usual laws of physics, which it probably didn't. The white had faded, too, or perhaps he was losing his sight.

"Please," came a small voice from below, "Please help."

He looked over the edge of the jade plateau. There, faint and very distant, was a ghostly man. Again, he called for help.

"You're the X-Man, aren't you? My name is Tripp and my world is in trouble. They say X-Men are honor-bound to help the helpless. Unless you save us, we'll all perish."

"My deepest apologies-"

"Please! I have _children!_ A wife! Parents! The wolves will come with fire and slaughter us in our homes!"

"My world needs me, too."

"We have nowhere else to go! No weapons can destroy them! Please, one day, that's all I ask. I _beg_ you!"

"Send your best warrior to the White Hot Room," said Nate. "They can train-"

"There's no _time_!" The man scoffed. "No one here is strong enough. We sold every possession and gave everything to deliver this message! Calling you is the best we're able."

"I'm sorry, but I cannot leave the course."

His protestations faded as Nate moved on with feet burdened by guilt, but the words burned his ears. In silence, he would always hear _'They called you hero! They said you would save us!'_

To comfort himself, he remembered the Room was full of lies. Cyclops and the women had been deceptions. Why not the man, too? The problem was: he knew the man to be true. Even if he hadn't been real, there were universes collapsing all around. Each begged a higher power for help. Nate had to ignore them, sacrifice them – if he was going to save his own.

Along the way, he passed by a pregnant, sobbing ex-girlfriend named Melody. She didn't speak to him; nor he to her.

The jade path inclined once more, and he knew he was nearing the summit. Large, leafy green plants became more frequent. He passed shrines, fountains, and waterfalls. A congregation was gathered. He couldn't see, but he could hear them. Straight ahead, he saw a bright red torii gate, which marked traditional Japanese temples. It seemed as good a destination as any.

At the entrance, a woman with blue eyes and auburn hair was waiting. She smiled and he instantly recognized she was his daughter.

"April..?"

"What took you so long?"

They embraced warmly and then he looked her over. Thankfully, she was dressed in blue jeans and flannel, not an X-uniform. Her slender build, smooth skin, and owl eyeglasses confirmed she was an intellectual and not a soldier. Like all Grey women, she was a red-head and she wore her family trait in a long, messy braid.

"Why're you here?" he asked.

"Same as you, I imagine."

"But how?"

"Lots of people make it this far. See?" She pointed to the bustling crowd. "Most of them will go no further."

He had many questions, but worried this was another trap by the Room. As they strolled along, he wondered if he should merely enjoy her presence or try to gain knowledge from her.

"I know what you're thinking," she said. "But look, you see the torii gate? It separates the sacred from the profane."

"How is this possible? My daughter's a baby."

"Time doesn't exist here, you goose! But limitations do… This is as far as I can go. I know what's next and I want to help you."

"If time doesn't exist, what's the hurry?"

"I'll give you the tool now and you can take it whenever you're ready."

"Fair enough." He agreed.

"Don't answer, just think… What are you willing to die for? _That's_ your tool."

By now, they'd reached a small wooden bridge over a clear little creek. He could've easily jumped the distance, but April said she couldn't cross it.

"I don't think I'll return this way," he said. "Is there anything I can do to help you?"

Anxious, she said, "You have your answer. What's worth sacrificing your life for? List everything. If something's not on that list don't die for it."

"This body can't be killed by conventional or cosmic methods. Don't worry!"

He waved good-bye as he crossed the bridge and three steps later, April and her sacred space vanished in mist. The path was no longer smooth jade but brittle wood. The once pristine air had turned smoggy. Too late, his logic caught up, and he wondered – if time and death did not exist in the Room, why was she concerned with _one_ but not the _other_?

That's when it hit him. Not some profound epiphany, but a crippling migraine brought him to his knees. It felt like lightning. Like every organ key in the world was struck at once inside his skull.

He knew this pain, he'd felt it before, and it could only mean that Cable was near. Cable, of course, was the son of another world's Cyclops. He'd been sent as a baby to the distant future and returned a grumpy old soldier. The cosmos had a sick sense of humor, so any time Nate and Cable came into contact, they both suffered.

Here came the war dog now. Nate struggled to his feet, astounded that Cable could bear the pain so easily. He must've been in constant agony.

"You did good, kid," said Cable, "But the trail ends here."

"Actually, it extends a few more yards. I intend to see this through. If you planned to prevent me, why didn't you try sooner?"

"Who says I didn't?"

Realization dawned on him. "The bait… That was you. And April-?"

"No, she's real. It's not too late to turn back and spend some more time with her."

"Time doesn't exist here."

Cable agreed, "That's what I've heard. Did you think about what she said?... What would you die for? _Her_?"

"That's a given." He wanted to kill Cable to make the pain stop. It was almost impossible to concentrate on what he said.

"Your team? Your family?" He paused. "How about your _principles_? Your oaths? Xavier's dream?"

Nate shrugged.

"If you reach the summit, you will lose _everything_ worth dying to preserve. What's worth that?"

" _Survival_ ," he said instantly. "The survival of the world."

He sighed and unsheathed the gun at his side. "Sorry, kid, I tried. But if words won't stop you, this will."

Nate flinched but Cable was faster. The round clipped his shoulder and knocked him off the plateau. Cable stepped up to the edge and watched him fade into white.

In a flash, Nate re-appeared behind Cable

"It's over!" he boasted, "I have the high ground!"

"I have the _gun_ ," Cable replied and opened fire once more.

Nate sprinted for the summit. Another round clipped his thigh but he stumbled across the threshold.

Alone in a twilight world, he stumbled through a swamp. Something caught his foot and he tripped. Hands, extended to catch himself, submerged in the muddy water. Eels slithered around his knees and wrists. Razor-sharp teeth nipped the flesh down to the bone. This was his doing. He felt the loss of everything – his body, his life, his memories; his child; his manhood.

He was a boy again.

…

 _To Be Continued.._


	2. Felix Culpa

**Chapter Two: Felix Culpa**

 _Anchorage, Alaska  
_ Nate was engaged in one of the things teenaged boys do best – nap.

Thanks to the terms of his parents' acrimonious divorce, he had to sacrifice every beautiful Alaskan summer to a miserable one in New York. He had two days at home before school started, and he'd been determined to utilize every moment. But following a long flight and two layovers, he couldn't stay awake.

He hadn't been able to sleep in Salem Center. His dad was the militant outlaw known as 'Cyclops' under the self-styled mutant rights defenders called the X-Men. If the constant threat of government intervention wasn't stressful enough, the Headquarters doubled as a school. Ever seen a school in the summer time? It felt like the place wanted to devour him. It was just waiting to catch him unaware and alone. Plus, his dad and stepmom, Jean, were fighting. They said they weren't, but he was a telepath. He knew.

Mutants had been called the next step in human evolution. They were generally regarded as a public nuisance, which was true. He was a mutant himself and even _he_ hated or feared most of his kind. Fortunately, he could pass for normal. The only external sign of his internal difference was a single patch of snow-white hair on a head of brown. He wanted no part of angry teens with laser-beams or sentient brains in a jar. His dad had been in that world so long that he couldn't see how _weird_ it was anymore.

Coming home to Mom (the pilot known as Madelyne Pryor-Summers _and nothing else_ ) and her baseline antics was like walking to the sunshine.

 _Home at last!_

He was awoken by the sound of soft chewing and paper being torn. Slowly, his blue eyes opened. All around were posters of bikini-clad women staring back provocatively. His ladies were alright. _Suzanne, Brande, Summer, how you doin'?_ His door was still shut – or closed as much as it could. Last time he'd gotten into a fight with his mom, she'd knocked his locked door off the hinges. Now he just propped it up. Uncle Alex had offered to fix it, but Nate refused out of spite and now lived with silent regret. Sometimes his smart-ass mouth didn't know when to shut up.

So what was the shredding sound?

His brown, floppy-eared rabbit, Playboy, had gotten ahold of _Dracula_ and _Frankenstein_ and turned them into confetti. He was currently working on _The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde_.

"Ah, noo!" Nate yelled.

Playboy panicked, froze, stomped in protest, and then hid under the bed.

"No, no, no!" he realized the books couldn't be salvaged.

"What's wrong?" His mom shouted from the kitchen.

The house was tiny; the kitchen was a cupboard three feet from his room. She didn't have to shout.

Furious, he shouted back: "Playboy ate my books! I _just_ got them!"

"I thought I heard that."

"Why didn't you _stop_ him?!"

"You don't need to read horror stories anyway. They give you nightmares. Bring the rodent here. We'll have rabbit stew for dinner."

Nate kneeled and looked at Playboy in the corner. "Come here, you little bastard."

Playboy carelessly licked his front paw, rubbed it against his other paw, and proceeded to wash his face. It was the cutest thing he could do and Nate melted.

"You damn bunny you," he said, but the anger was gone from his words.

Playboy batted his big, brown eyes for a moment longer and then started. His little nose twitched at the air. Then Nate sensed it, too. _Danger_. The pin-prick of unease he'd felt all summer finally erupted in an explosion on the roof. A bright blue tesseract opened overhead and a bolt struck out and gripped his mom. She shuddered in silent agony. He shouted, but she seemed not to hear. Fear kept him from touching her. Sickness churned in his belly, threatening to cut him off at the knees.

A girl younger than him calmly entered the chaos. She was tall, thin, and pale with demonic black eyes and strawberry blonde hair pulled back harshly into an elaborate, ancient style.

' _I don't want to hurt you,'_ she thought _. 'Please. Help me.'_

He sensed madness in her and desperation bordering on demise.

' _We must help each other,'_ he replied.

Two creatures flanked her – immortal and wicked mutants that Nate knew only by reputation: Mr. Sinister and Apocalypse. The three of them discussed ending his life as if they couldn't decide what to have for dinner. It didn't make any sense. Over his racing heart, he heard phrases about 'Death God' and 'Hathor' and 'his father'.

They agreed to take him alive. He hated being a hostage against his father (that much was clear) but he would've done anything to get them away from his mom. She was unconscious. He knew he couldn't fight them off and he couldn't carry her very far, either. If leaving with them was the key to their departure, he would sacrifice himself.

Quivering inside, he stepped into the tesseract, certain he would never return.

Apocalypse had established a base on the moon. He and Sinister were able to come and go at their leisure, but Nate and the girl were prisoners. Only _he_ realized it. She styled herself queen of the place, although the villains treated her much worse than they treated him. He worried she was intentionally putting herself in danger to protect him, but he didn't understand the rules of this place. Where did the food come from? What did they want with him? Why was she here?

Of one thing, he was sure: she was his only friend here. Over two days, he focused his telepathy and charm on gaining her trust. He discovered her real name wasn't Hathor (that's what the bad-guys called her), it was Honor. Her dad was Gambit, a friend of his dad's, but he only knew the man by reputation. Still, these bits of information were enough. He wouldn't allow her to deceive him.

One day, she confessed: "I killed the Phoenix. They want me to kill the Starchilde, too."

The axiom that held up his world slanted. Jean was dead? At the hands of this crazy girl? Now her sights were set on the Starchilde, his sister from an alternate dimension. Nate didn't even know how to find Rachel, and Apocalypse probably didn't either. Nate realized that was why the villains had spared his life: to lure her out.

It made him ill.

"Kill Rachel," he growled, "and I will _end you_. Do you hear me? I don't care what happens to me, but if you hurt anyone else, it'll be the last thing you do!"

He left Honor to her misery. It was the worst thing he could do.

Alone, his grief rotted into resentment and then into fantasies of revenge. He decided he would kill her before she could hurt his sister. It meant his own certain death, but that was a price he was willing to pay. He felt like his innards were rotten. Some monster had crawled inside him and was in control now, but if the brute left, he'd never have the courage to do what he must.

He went back and found her sobbing.

"So you _do_ have a heart," he said.

"Kill me if that's what you want! I can't take this anymore! You were supposed to be my _friend_!"

"You killed my stepmom!" he shouted. The rage rattled his hands.

"I didn't have _choice_ , Nathan! The stars- the stars-!"

Instead of hitting her, he shook and shoved her until he felt better. Then he yanked her collar and spat in her face. "Are you listening, you crazy little bitch? Next time they take you out, tell the X-Men where I am."

"I did, but there's such terrible confusion!"

"Liar!" he backhanded her.

Sobbing, she kneeled and covered her face.

 _This was his chance._

He tried to summon the courage to kill her, but he wasn't a cold-blooded murderer. The mere _thought_ made him feel weak and nauseous. His father, wherever he was, would know what to do. But Nate had chosen pacifism and refused to learn how to fight. Mostly, he did it out of spite. He thought that by doing the opposite of what his father had done, his life would be the opposite of his father's. Instead, he'd made himself an easy target. The bad guys hadn't killed him because they knew they could make him like them. And they had. Here he was – about to murder a girl too crazy to know she was a victim.

' _You are prepared,'_ Apocalypse said into his mind. _'Surrender.'_

Nate felt cold, salty water fill his feet and slowly fill his legs. The villain was possessing him! Slimy tentacles, which he couldn't resist, hooked in his mind.

What would his father do?

Without fear, he raced outside the Blue Area of the Moon, and into the cold vacuum of space.

' _Cease this!'_

But Apocalypse couldn't stop him. Unfortunately.

This was so _wrong_.

He'd done nothing to deserve death and everything in him wanted life: to know his mom was okay, to see a woman naked (a real one, not a paid actress), and to read Mary Shelley's _Frankenstein_. He hadn't even _started_ it when Playboy ate it.

Fire rolled through his body, pushing back Apocalypse's influence. When he broke through the barrier of the Blue Area of the Moon, flames exploded from him. He heard a booming voice declare: "I am fire! I am life incarnate! Now and forever more – _I am Phoenix!"_

* * *

 _Salem Center  
_ Xavier rushed out to greet him. "Your father's just left with a team to retrieve you and young Honor. I will let him know you're safe here. What should he be prepared to face?"

"She – she's insane, Professor! And I left her alone with Apocalypse and Mr. Sinister."

"You acted bravely and decisively." He touched his temple, relaying a telepathic message to Cyclops.

When he finished, Nate asked about Jean and Rachel.

"We haven't heard from Rachel in some time. Jean is here. I won't lie to you – her situation is critical."

"She's… alive?"

"Come and see for yourself."

Jean was attached to a Shi'ar medical device, which was keeping her alive. Even with the accelerated healing of the alien technology, she was purple and swollen.

"Honor was able to summon the power of a mysterious gem known as the Momentary Princess.," Xavier explained. "It granted her immense powers. When she attacked Jean, the gem somehow separated her from the Phoenix and left her vulnerable."

Even Nate knew that should've been impossible. But he was too frightened to ask if Jean would survive the separation or if the Phoenix would resent Nate and corrupt him the way it had once corrupted her. He was too afraid to even admit what he knew. Instead, he asked if his mom was alright.

Xavier nodded. "She's in Alaska with your Uncle Alex. I'll-"

" _Wait_."

He paused.

Nate took a deep breath and said, "Could I join your school?"

"Our doors are always open, but I believe this is a matter between you and your parents."

"No, it's not. Their divorce decree said I could choose which parent I want to live with. I want to be _here_. I want to train to be an X-Man."

"What happened?" Xavier asked.

Sure he already knew, Nate only said, "I didn't know I could be a monster."

* * *

His Mom threw a fit, but she couldn't keep him from Xavier Academy and he knew it. Somewhere deep down, she knew this was the best thing for him, but she was too proud to admit it. He had to leave Playboy, but smuggled a poster of his favorite girl, Anka Romensky. After Dad replaced his horror story collection, it was almost like home.

School wasn't difficult to adjust to.

He heard Honor had been hiding a mental illness before her abduction and had suffered incredible trauma on the Moon. She was currently getting treatment on Muir Island and might be there for years, but her family was with her.

When Nate asked his Dad if he should've saved Honor when he escaped, the man flushed with barely concealed rage.

"She _chose_ to leave with Mr. Sinister. For all we know, she might've returned if given a choice. Some people can't be saved, son."

But, of course, _Cyclops_ had saved her.

To gain mastery over his telepathy and telekinesis, he trained with Emma Frost. She dressed like the women on his posters, but he liked something else about her. Something he couldn't put into words. But he knew _precisely_ what Dad liked about her.

The X-Men scorned him for it. Secretly, he confided to Nate that another divorce was a huge disappointment to him, too. Part of him also hated himself. A weaker man might've buckled, but even the threat of losing leadership of the X-Men didn't shake him. He was _determined_ to be with Emma.

Any talk of divorce was postponed until after Jean's physical therapy.

As autumn turned to winter, her health returned. She resigned as headmistress and moved into the boat house so Nate (and Emma) could move into the headmaster quarters with Scott. The time for nasty fights had passed, but their internal thoughts gave Nate headaches. He helped carry Jean's things just to get it over with. When the last box was delivered, she smiled sadly.

"I'm grateful this isn't traumatic for you," she said.

He scowled. She always had a bad habit of sticking her telepathy where it didn't belong.

"I'm sorry for the pain I caused you. And your mother. If it's any consolation, I wouldn't wish this heartache on my worst enemy."

"You're only sorry because my dad doesn't want you anymore!" he snapped.

"Yes. I'm sorry."

"You don't know what my life was like without my dad! You only _think_ you do because you snoop through people's thoughts."

"Nate-"

"I never liked you and it's not going to change now."

"Look out!"

Flames licked his feet and hands. With a yelp, he kicked out the fire and reigned in the rage of the Phoenix.

Jean frowned. "Guess that answers _that_ question."

…

 _To Be Continued.._


	3. Dii Estis

**Chapter Three: Dii Estis**

Nate traded fishing, hunting and flying with his mom for weight-lifting, competitive sport, and Danger Room training with his dad. As long as he was in motion, he felt in control. The baby fat melted away and he gained thirty pounds in muscle.

He wasn't happy at home. Dad's divorce from Jean was getting intense and Nate knew there was a chance he'd have to speak to the court. Hopefully it didn't come to that because he _knew_ his dad was lying. He lied about the affair with Emma and now he was lying about his income. Ramen noodles, used cars, and second-hand text books didn't convince Jean he had no money for alimony.

Mom wasn't helping. She'd decided Jean now belonged in the scorned-angry-woman-club and they'd joined forces to impoverish their ex-husband.

School was more complicated. The girls were supermodels and the guys were easy to get along with, but the Phoenix had slammed his internal gage to eleven and then broke off the handle. Murder and sex: that's what it wanted. It (he?) wanted to slaughter the other alpha males who posed a threat to his breeding chances; enslave the beta males; and mate until he'd repopulated New York. This wasn't a fleeting fantasy. He was obsessed with creating this Utopia. Terrifyingly, it would be simple to do and he was powerful enough to remove the consequences, too.

' _Imagine being father of a nation,'_ the Phoenix teased.

' _Shut up.'_ Nate was trying to focus on the lab instructions.

' _Sophie's not wearing any underwear.'_

His eyes laser focused on Sophie's posterior. Her long, naked legs stretched under her navy blue skirt. Before he could determine whether or not he saw her panty-line, she turned and caught him staring. A sly smile appeared and she leaned forward. The skirt pulled tighter over her thighs.

"If you have any questions, I'll be here." said Professor McCoy. "Otherwise, chop away!"

Nate's stomach shrank into cold bile.

His lab partners – Owen, Melody and Theresa – looked at each other silently. Then Theresa took charge. She was clearly the most capable; Owen and Nate were competing for the _least_ capable.

Finally, Melody snapped. "You guys weren't even paying attention!"

"A man's intellect decreases in the presence of beautiful women." Owen said, "That's science!"

Theresa giggled but Melody turned to Nate. "And what's _your_ excuse?"

' _Attack her! Attack!'_ the Phoenix cried.

' _No! I need the answer. Where's the hypothalamus? If I explain that, she'll forgive me.'_

The cosmic firebird pointed to McCoy's head. He was currently engaged in _War and Peace_ , and although he'd been trained by the very best to prevent against psychic sabotage, Nate thought he could steal the information without the Professor's knowledge. Cheating was wrong, but everyone did it and no one lost anything. His dad even cheated. And how important was this anyway? It's not like Nate would ever dissect another Brood fetus.

"We need the handsaw to open the second cranium cavity," he said quickly. "Hypothalamus is front and center. We'll know it by the discoloration."

Professor McCoy was not _too_ distracted and glanced over at Nate, who refused to meet his eye.

Afterwards, Theresa and Owen went out of their way to include him on social activities. Melody avoided him. In labs, she sat at another table.

Maybe he should've let it slide but he couldn't. There was too much unresolved tension at home. He couldn't deal with having it at school, too, so he confronted her at lunch.

"Hey, come sit with me."

' _You call_ _ **that**_ _confrontation?'_

After a slight pause, she stormed over and sat down directly across him. She didn't touch her food. Instead, she crossed her arms and stared him down. No one – no _woman_ – had ever looked at him like that before. He felt exposed and naked and… strangely aroused.

"Something wrong?" he asked.

"I _know_ what you did."

' _Teach her humility! How_ _ **dare**_ _she?'_

"What did I do?" he asked, stalling for time.

She narrowed her doe-like brown eyes. " _I know_."

"If you're accusing me of something, spit it out! What do you think I did? What _exactly_ are you accusing me of?"

"You cheated."

"Why do you think that? Do you think I'm stupid?"

"And now you've lied." She stood and took her tray. "If Professor McCoy catches you, your whole team fails for the year. You realize that?"

"He won't catch me," he said quietly.

"I won't be friends with a cheater and a liar."

* * *

 _Thanksgiving  
_ The school had cleared out. Mostly. Nate's father was called away on a mission and his mom was a pilot. Holidays were her busy season. Nate had plenty of time to read, though, and when he got bored of that, Professor Xavier was always up for a game of chess.

It was thrilling to feel as if he had the whole place to himself.

Saturday morning, he found company on the basketball court.

Melody approached with her jacket pulled up around her face. "Aren't you cold?"

"This is a lovely spring day," he smiled and shot.

He didn't score.

She stomped her feet. "Come inside. We can play a board game."

"Don't want to play a board game. Besides, I thought you couldn't be friends with _someone like me_."

"Get over yourself!"

He shot and missed again.

"You know, the only thing more pathetic than watching you miss-"

' _Who's she calling_ _ **pathetic**_ _?'_

"-is playing Scrabble by myself. We'd both look a lot better if you'd just stop making a fool of yourself and come inside."

"No," he said a moment before he realized she was flirting with him. He tossed her the ball and smiled weakly.

Angrily, she threw the ball down, and he expected her to walk away. Instead, she dribbled right past him, shot and made the basket. She danced and declared, "Don't be _startin'_ no _mess_ , there won't _be_ no _mess_!"

He wished he could've said he'd done the gentlemanly thing and _let_ her win, but she beat him fair and square. He invaded her personal space (to get the ball, of course, not to feel her breath on his face), and tried to use his height to his advantage (not so she'd lean against him). She wouldn't be bullied.

She couldn't, however, outmaneuver the cold.

"Up for a game of Scrabble?" he asked.

She said yes of course. And she continued to say yes to his suggestions. When he boldly spelled 'K-I-S-S-M-E' on the board, she giggled and leaned for his cheek. He turned his head and caught her mouth, and they both blushed.

' _Take her! She must be ours.'_

He tried to kiss her again, but this time she pulled away.

"What is this?" she asked.

"I…" What would his father say? "Melody, I really like you. You're not like anyone else. Would you-" He couldn't imagine his father using the term 'girlfriend', but now he was stuttering like a fool. "-Could we be an item?"

She scoffed. "Why would _you_ wanna date _me_? I know what this is. You think we're gonna fool around-"

"No, no." But that's all he could say and now he couldn't look her in the eye.

"I don't know why you'd wanna hang out with _me_. I mean, we all know Sophie's been flashing her thong at you. And you're – you're _Nate Summers_."

"Wait, Sophie's been doing _what_? Excuse me, please, _I'm Nate Summers_."

"Shut up," she laughed.

He boldly put an arm around her shoulders. "You're the most incredible girl I've ever known. I'd be lucky to have you. So if you'd just… let me take you out some time?"

She smiled widely and put her head on his shoulder. He never wanted that hug to end.

* * *

By Christmas, his Dad still wasn't back. The divorce still wasn't final, either, but he and Emma were secretly engaged. He put up a fuss about Nate doing track that spring, but Nate knew how to get what he wanted from a reluctant parent. This wasn't his first rodeo. He _would_ be doing track – forget what Jean's lawyer deduced!

Mom half-heartedly tried to get him to Anchorage, but he preferred to stay where Melody would be. So he did.

And thank heavens for that! The boredom and luxury of an empty school proved too great. One night in his room, their kisses carried on too long. She whispered something about birth control and the last of his cares vanished. Luckily, she never suspected he was a virgin. They spent the entire holiday running around, getting frisky in closets and bathrooms. He dreamed about the day they could get a hotel room and be as loud and slow as they pleased.

After New Years, the school flooded with returning students. Gambit and Rogue had eloped and they were back with his daughter from his first marriage, Honor: that little girl who'd driven him to attempt suicide. His survival was undercut by a raging cosmic super-being always pushing his limits. Sure, it wasn't _strictly_ her fault, but he wanted no more of her trouble.

His dad was back, too. As soon as the ink was dry, Emma started flashing a big diamond ring.

Theresa said it was tacky, but Nate had no opinion until Melody said she wanted a ring that size, too. Then he developed very strong feelings that Emma's ring was disgusting. _Especially_ since he'd sacrificed so much to keep _Jean_ out of his dad's bank account!

When his mom called, she said, "I'm coming to your track try-outs."

"Don't do that," he said. "I can send you a picture of Emma's ring."

"I said I'm coming to watch your try-out!"

"She won't even be there."

A pause. "Your father was gone for Thanksgiving _and_ Christmas!"

"So were you, Mom."

"It's important for families to be together for the holidays, Nathan! Why don't you want to see me? Are you afraid I'll embarrass you?"

"Afraid? I'm _counting_ on it."

"You're a mouthy thing now, aren't you?"

"It runs in the family."

But Emma did show up for track try-outs. She was _always_ with his dad now; seemed to be steaking her territory for any Mrs. Summers runner-ups. His mom and Uncle Alex were there, too; as was Honor and her little friend, Tessa. They'd come to cheer their friend, Ethan. He was a _massive_ kid with a sour face and black, curly hair. Nate felt sorry for him. He was _sure_ to get creamed and everyone would witness it.

But Nate was in for a shock. Ethan was slow to start, but by the finish, he was galloping past everyone.

"Did you even _try_?" Ethan said.

Luckily, he was Jr. Varsity. Nate wouldn't have to compete against him on the field for another year. After the event, he ducked away from his dad's momma-drama, and made an escape under the bleachers.

Honor was waiting. "You've been avoidin' me."

His mom and Emma were behind him, so he couldn't retreat. "We shouldn't be alone."

"I just – I'm glad you're okay. And I'm sorry."

He nodded and tried to pass her.

"Melody isn't on the pill!" she cried.

He stopped. "Do what?"

"I know things. That's why Mr. Sinister wanted me. She's _trying_ to get pregnant."

' _It's true. Kill her. Kill them both. Leave no witnesses!'_

She bolted as if she'd heard the Phoenix's demands.

' _Why fear? I offer unlimited power. Do you think_ _ **this**_ _beyond my abilities?'_

He could hardly stand. The betrayal was too shattering.

' _Give me your soul and this goes away.'_

Desperate, he agreed. Fire and thunder cracked the bleachers in half and pulled him through the air like a puppet.

The Dark Phoenix was back.

Burning through space, Nate and the Phoenix were locked in a power struggle.

"Why would she do that?"

' _Irrelevant.'_

"Irrelevant?"

' _You feel too much. I will purify you.'_

"I don't want-"

' _You don't know what you want! If you'd gathered a harem as instructed, no woman would hold power over us. This is_ _ **your**_ _fault. I will purge the pain and you will keep_ _ **silent**_ _!'_

At the heart of the comet named Chiron hid a precious crystal. The Phoenix ripped it out and Nate healed the surface. When he touched the stone, he felt its power. The only way to numb his pain was to kill everything that could feel. And the only way to kill everything was to unleash Hell. The Chiron crystal would open a portal between Hell and earth and alleviate Nate's suffering through genocide. It was the only way.

By the time he returned to Earth, his parents had organized a defense. His mother's astral form appeared next to him.

"Nate. I don't know what's happened to you on your father's watch, but you can't act this way."

' _ **That's**_ _your plea for humanity?'_

"I don't beg from children."

Irritated, he blasted a stream of fire at her, but it passed through without causing any harm.

"You better be glad Emma's turned me into a ghost or your ass would be toast! If you won't talk to me, your father's going to take you over his knee like he should've done years ago. Phoenix! You hear me? They beat you before and they'll do it again!"

Nate, wrapped inside the Dark Phoenix, trembled. "Mom… She…"

"Some trollop broke your heart."

Silent tears rolled down his face.

"When your father left me, I went to Hell. _Literally_. And I took everyone with me, _including you_. You know what I learned? Love is trap and you've gotta bottle that rage, baby."

He laughed. "You're supposed to tell me love makes the world go round."

"Love _bites_. I'm sorry you were stupid enough to let someone break your heart but it's not my fault and I won't let you send me to Hell for it. Been there. Done that."

"Too bad I can't learn from your mistakes."

' _Enough chatter! Unleash Hell!'_

"No! I won't let you hurt anyone else."

' _You have no choice!'_

"We'll see about that."

He lifted the crystal and opened a small portal that only he could pass through.

Man, was _that_ a dumb idea! For three days he was tortured by demons big and small. The Phoenix had tried to abandon him there and he'd tried to escape without it. Eventually he realized they'd have to work together. That's how they'd arrived – as one – and if they wanted to leave, it had to be as one. He couldn't control _it_ any more than it could control _him_.

' _You do not confine me.'_

"Ditto. We aren't Phoenix any more, that was Jean's codename. We're Chiron now."

' _Agreed. You mustn't invest so much emotionally or it'll devour us.'_

He paused. "I _hope_ there's someone out there for me. But-"

' _Melody is_ _ **not**_ _an option.'_

"Oh hell no."

' _I am pleased with this arrangement.'_

Fire swallowed him and healed his demon-inflicted wounds. The gentle pin-prick of foamy salt water filled his body when they bonded together. He felt refreshed and oddly whole – it was as if he'd been missing this all his life. When he opened his eyes, he realized the cosmic firebird had transformed into a cosmic dragon. It had been missing him, too.

…

 _To Be Continued.._


	4. Bardo

**Chapter Four: Bardo**

Once he'd been through Hell, life was easy. His parents and Emma got together for his sixteenth birthday and barely irritated him. Melody was most certainly _not_ pregnant, although not for lack of trying. When he wouldn't see her anymore, she spread the most awful rumors. Owen and Theresa believed her and vanished from his life, but his dad said breakups did that.

For a long time, Nate didn't trust anyone. He focused on studies and sports and gradually the excitement around him died down. Ethan still talked to him. He said his friends, Honor and Tessa, were "kind of a thing", so Nate could hang out without people thinking he was a creep. Honor's mother fostered a boy, Renegade, who started hanging out, too. Nate and his friends were untouchable, which suited them fine.

Jean moved into Logan's cabin.

Rogue revealed she was pregnant. _With twins._

It was just life stuff and life was easy. But _easy_ wasn't what he craved. His father wouldn't let him join the active X-roster until he'd trained for two years, so he added mock-combat to his list of activities. The process could've been stream lined; there was too much down time. But the point wasn't really to train for two solid years; it was to test one's resolve.

Meanwhile, he partied too hard with his friends. They'd steal a car, sneak out after curfew, lie about their age, and then drink, dance, and blow away the painful meaninglessness from their _easy_ lives. The next step in human evolution. Millions of years of survival skills honed so he could steal liquor and drugs. Very little made him proud.

Rogue's pregnancy had been high-risk due to the unstable nature of her mutation. Before Gambit left for a mission, they'd gotten into a fight and her blood pressure rose dangerously. In order to save her life, the twins would have to be delivered prematurely.

But Honor, the little girl who knew things, insisted that Nate could heal them with a touch. By faith, he succeeded.

 _This_ ability brought him gratification, but he wouldn't admit it.

Rogue safely delivered her babies, Oli and Becca, in the summer. That Christmas, his dad and Emma got married and she was already pregnant. _Third time's the charm?_ It seemed like the elders were preparing to step aside, but the world was no more tolerant of mutants.

 _*The season of carnage is over,*_ Chiron instructed. _*We are_ _ **healers**_ _.*_

"Whose gonna replace my dad? Mutant kind needs _soldiers_ , not diplomats. We can heal things once we're safe."

 _*Things will never be safe until they're healed.*_

After that, Chiron withdrew.

* * *

It was a booming year for mutant births. His dad and Emma had a little girl they named Megan. Bishop hooked up with Honor's mom and they had a daughter, too. Nate was lucky to have one hour without hearing an infant scream or some woman complain about chapped nipples. But the most important birth happened in Alaska.

She was only a little girl – just like Meg. But in Bishop's future, she'd been responsible for a massacre and a war and mutant genocide. So he killed her. He snuffed her out like an ant at his picnic.

How did Cyclops retaliate? By sending a special-ops team to murder Bishop.

Nate could justify carnage to conserve or protect, but that wasn't what his father did. He had a man murdered in cold blood. His father didn't listen to Honor sob; he didn't lament turning Bishop's daughter into a half-orphan. He had _corrupted_ Xavier's dream.

Healing the wounds wasn't what Nate _wanted_. So instead he and Honor cooked up a hair-brain scheme to time travel. They'd send the baby into the distant future, making Bishop think he'd killed her, and help him escape into the time stream, too. They succeeded, but his father never trusted him again. The cranky old man was like that. With Cyclops, it was all or nothing.

The time displacement drove Gambit mad and he attacked Honor. She was badly shaken but otherwise alright. He escaped. Desperate to find him before he harmed himself, her family asked the X-Men for help. Emma found him but he wouldn't cooperate. There was an altercation and she nearly erased his mind. Self-dense? Rogue didn't buy it.

A schism deep and dark split the team. Wolverine sided with Rogue against Emma and Cyclops in a race to find Gambit while quarrelling with each other.

Nate didn't want to, but he took Honor's side. First, because he knew this was _his_ fault, but also, he thought he'd keep her sane. He didn't realize she'd deceived him until it was too late. She and Ethan had decided that destroying Cerebro was their best chance, and when Emma stood in their way, they shattered her diamond form. She was six months pregnant with Nate's little brother.

"I'm sorry," Honor said, as if that made things better.

Nate still thought of her as that possessed little girl begging for help. He wished he'd never fallen for it. He wished he could un-do their past.

Cyclops was shattered by his loss.

Worse, Honor had locked herself in Cerebro as she detonated it from inside.

What had their war won them?

 _*Have you had your fill of carnage?*_

Chiron returned and he was able to re-create Emma from the shards. Miraculously, the baby survived, too. He discovered Gambit had fled to the Shi'ar. Their solution was the same as Emma's, to erase his mind, and he'd gone along with it. Nate returned his memories, helped him find his way home, and telepathically delivered this information to Rogue and Wolverine. Then he gave Emma and his dad a glimpse into Rogue's heart. Words never would have convinced them. Finally, Honor wasn't dead (and he didn't even have to time-travel). She'd been rescued from her suicide mission at the last moment by Nightcrawler.

* * *

In the aftermath of suffering, Nate wanted peace, but Chiron demanded to _bring_ peace where there was strife. His cosmic overlord commanded him to venture into the unknown. Graduation was just around the proverbial corner. That was unknown enough. By now, he'd determined not to follow his father, so he'd move back to Alaska and help his mom and Uncle Alex with their flight business.

 _*You must go into a foreign land,*_ Chiron argued.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you to look before you leap?"

 _*We have served our time! You are a freed slave who clings to the safety of the chain!*_

Easily said by one who needs nothing to survive. Nate wasn't going to rush head-long into the unknown, no matter how much his tyrannical conscious demanded it.

Once again, Chiron abandoned him.

* * *

"Say cheese!"

Nate, wearing blue cap and gown, stretched his lips grotesquely and squeezed his eyes shut.

His mom smacked her lips. "Not like that, Nathan! I want a _real_ smile!"

She followed him with that damn camera all afternoon and only got a "real" smile when Uncle Alex shouted joyously and threw Nate over his shoulder. When he was lined up in the hall, she crept in and demanded to get a picture with him and his friends.

"These people aren't my friends, Mom. Our last names happen to be close in the alphabet."

"Don't be such a sour puss!" Melody chided him. "Your mom's _proud_ of you. Cheese!"

For some reason, she hugged him and smiled broadly. They literally hadn't spoken in years, but here she was, pretending to be his friend. And his mom, not knowing any better, took the picture.

"Burn that picture!"

"Why? She's a pretty girl. What's her name?"

" _Satan_. Burn that picture or my soul is hers."

"Oh! They're starting the ceremony."

She blew him a kiss and waved as if he were starting kindergarten, not graduating high school. _Moms_.

They gathered in the stadium, front and center while teacher after teacher made a political statement disguised as valuable life advice. Valuable or invaluable? Were they the same thing? Hopefully the advice would be better than his education. Nate looked up and down the line, mentally calculating how long it'd be until his name was called. That's when he heard a whistle.

" _Missile!"_ he shouted a second too late.

It slammed into the ground, throwing bodies and dirt aside. Pandemonium sparked immediately. Parents ran for their kids, students screamed for their friends.

Nate summoned Chiron but it didn't answer.

The exits exploded, debris sealing off any escape. People stampeded in blind panic but Nate couldn't move. Across the stage, he watched Sophie and her sisters collapse from telepathic assault. This was the moment his father had trained him for, but now that danger had come, he stood frozen. Fear hadn't imprisoned him. Chiron had.

Outside the stadium, he heard a series of explosions. _Someone_ had gotten out and flanked the attackers.

 _*Now!*_

He soared into the air and to the action. Kitty Pryde and Honor were the heroes of the day! They'd managed to sneak out and destroy the missile-launching vehicles. Honor blasted, ran, ducked, and then stood to blast again. Kitty displayed impressive control over her powers by phasing through bullets and barriers but returning to full-form to attack.

Nate erected a psionic barrier and swept the villains together.

' _They have biological weapons!'_ Honor broadcasted.

He realized if the Purifiers couldn't massacre the student body, they would settle for inflicting the Legacy Virus. The fatal disease was a brutal and certain death.

Chiron snapped up the bio-weapons, shot into the atmosphere, and then soared into deep space. The Virus was a living thing, which meant it had limits. (Apparently he learned more from science than vocabulary.) After two days without warmth or air, the Virus ceased to be a threat and he returned home.

X-DHEC was waiting.

"Quarantine! Now!" barked Wolverine.

"Alright, alright. Bring my X-Box though. I'm bored."

He thought himself invincible, but while waiting out the quarantine period, he started to feel sick. Very sick.

"This doesn't make any sense," he whimpered.

 _*Now._ _ **Now**_ _we journey into unknown land.*_

* * *

Time didn't exist in the land of illness. Agony unparalleled ripped through his flesh, and the pain compounded with loneliness. The demons were back. Tiny metallic atoms devoured him from the inside, and every wave he defeated brought fresh recruits. There was no epiphany. No escape. This was suffering without end.

* * *

He awoke dying of thirst. For some reason, the doctors had encased him in steel.

His mom pounced on his arm. "Natey? Oh, my baby!"

Struggling to breathe and speak, he managed to croak, "Mom…? You were right… No one should… see you without make-up."

"You spoiled rotten brat! I haven't slept in _months_! Doctors told me you wouldn't make it and I prayed every day and God answered my prayers and _this_ is the gratitude you show me!" She showered his face with kisses.

* * *

Turns out, the hospital hadn't covered him in metal sheeting. That was _him_. The Legacy Virus turned its victims into solid steel, but it hadn't conquered all of him. Part of his chest, his left arm, right eye and part of his dick were permanently disfigured. But he was alive.

While Nate struggled through physical therapy, Emma had a baby boy, Alexander. As he learned to contain the still-active Legacy Virus, Honor partied in Paris. While the school was re-built and his friends left for college, he waited for X-DHEC to determine his contagion threat.

Mom wanted him to return home, which had been the plan prior to his illness. But Chiron still beckoned him into the unknown. When he told Mom his completely ill-defined plans, she raised hell. His dad, however, was up for an adventure.

"We'll gas up the Cessna and let the winds guide us."

"If action movies have taught me anything," Nate said, "we'll end up fighting grizzly bears and eating tree bark."

They hitched a ride to the airport with Honor's parents. She was returning from her holiday in Paris. The summer had been kinder to her. Her strawberry-blonde locks were cut boyishly short (very European) and she now filled out a sweater. When she saw him, she giggled and ran to hug him. Equally juvenile, he lifted her off her feet and swung her around. A bolt of lightning struck through them. He shouldn't have been so immature – she wasn't a little girl anymore.

Helloes and good-byes later, he and his dad followed the Northern breeze.

Nate mentally replayed that embrace for days. Each time, he cursed himself for everything he did and didn't do.

* * *

 _Cape Spear, Canada  
_ They'd only planned to pause for gas and supplies, but a dense fog delayed them. Nate didn't mind. He was getting sick of _Rush_.

They grabbed dinner at a nameless diner straight out of the X-Files. A lot of drivers and pilots did. As their food went cold, the fog became impenetrable, and Nate could hear himself breathe in the crowded, stark restaurant.

His dad put a quarter in the jukebox. Another damned _Rush_ song. If he thought the noise would break the tension, he was sorely mistaken. Every off-key shrill made their solid shoulders stiffer. Nate was so desperate that he considered ripping the box from the wall.

Something slammed against a window. The lights flickered and the song skipped.

' _Truth is false and logic lost-  
Truth is false and logic lost-  
Truth is false-'_

"Forget this!" a man declared and stormed out.

Nate's stomach dropped. He shouldn't have left – the fog was certain death. It was creeping inside through the juke box.

"Something followed us," his dad said quietly.

"No," he said, "Something _called_ us."

Before his courage failed, Nate walked over and grabbed the juke box.

 _Floating in glass  
Bubbles circle over  
An unborn fetal mass  
Lighter than a prayer.  
Teeth rip open clean  
A pack of wolves devour  
Humanity's unborn dreams  
Rendered broken.  
Sinking in despair,  
Hope circles over  
Pieces trying to repair.  
Yearning for each other,  
Yearning for each other.  
Painful to the touch,  
Cannot surrender to embrace.  
Darkness claims much,  
Fueled by light misplaced.  
Each yearning for the other,  
Yearning for the other._

 _*I am light you can reach.*_

At first, the dark brushed him with reluctant, ghostly tentacles. When it realized he spoke the truth, it devoured him. Wave after wave of agony and ecstasy shook him until his bones dislocated.

 _*That's enough, you'll kill me!*_

Drained, he collapsed on the floor. For a long time, he was too weak to speak or open his eyes. His dad helped him back into the booth. After a soda, Nate realized the diner had emptied. The fog was gone, too. Everything throbbed.

"I gotta pee," he mumbled.

"Sure you don't need a doctor?"

He waved his dad off and stumbled into the restroom. Standing at the urinal, he saw the Legacy Virus had claimed another inch of flesh.

…

 _To Be Continued.._


	5. Timaeus

**Chapter Five: Timaeus**

Knowing the universe was broken didn't mean Nate knew how to mend it. Okay, he _did_ – but he wasn't prepared to sacrifice his life to act as a Band-Aid on a compound fracture. What good would it do? He would make small sacrifices that wouldn't kill him.

" _Medical school?!_ " was the universal reaction.

"Sounds expensive," Dad said.

Unfortunately, Nate didn't have the GPA to slide into a university, so he'd be wasting time at a local community college before going to med school, grad school, and then finishing a residency. The arduous journey only encouraged his cosmic compatriot, who acted like the whole thing had been _its_ idea.

 _Time_ , Nate had. _Money?_ Not so much.

His dad and Emma separated, which meant Dad was back to Ramen noodles. His mom _certainly_ didn't have the loot for medical school. So Nate decided to enlist with the X-Men. Xavier would pick up the tab if Nate agreed to serve on a combat team until he'd obtained his doctorate and then stayed on as the resident doctor. He didn't see a better option.

Eventually, Dad and Emma patched things up and had a couple more babies. Never offered to help with tuition, though. _Miser._

Nate wasn't going to dick around with school anymore. Xavier could see how dedicated he was and didn't demand as much time as he was owed. This wasn't the blessing it appeared to be. Later, Nate heard rumors that Ethan had moved to the tiny African nation of Azania, and was using his mutant powers to terrorize government officials. At first, he was clearly seeking wealth and power, but eventually he turned pathological. He would torture entire villages for no reason. If Nate had been aware of this at the time, if he'd been more active in combat, he would've done anything to stop Ethan.

Instead, Nate mentored with Professor McCoy. He burned out before long.

"Hey beau, you look _rough_ ," Honor remarked.

"You're hanging around after dismissal… Another detention, I see."

She smiled and the world faded to sparkling watercolors. Time simultaneously slowed down _and_ sped up. Her lips were moving but he heard only her heart beat. Oh shit, she was waiting.

"I'm sorry. What'd you say?" he asked.

She scoffed. _"Fine!"_

He was sitting at McCoy's desk, and she walked behind him. Her hands grabbed his shoulders and squeezed. Since his body was disfigured, no one ever bothered to touch him anymore. They were subconsciously trying to avoid contracting the Virus, which he understood and didn't resent. But the tension in him had been mounting too long. Now the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen was giving her flesh to revive his body and soul. He melted. Inside, Chiron wept exquisite tears.

She messaged his shoulders, back, neck, and arms.

 _*Make her stay.*_

"Thanks, honey, I feel ten years younger." He said.

"Don't they let you _party_ at college?"

"Now that I'm of legal drinking age, I don't enjoy it as much. Plus, a walking dead man who's pursuing a goal he may never live to accomplish… isn't all that popular. I'm only funny on paper. In real life, it's too heavy. People don't know what to do with me."

Tears filled her eyes. "Yeah, hmm…"

"Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you."

"No, it's not that. I just – I know what you mean. Sorta. No one wants to be around me, either."

"Why not?"

She sighed. "Jesus, you're the last person on earth to hear about it. I cheated on Tess with Ethan. No one speaks to me anymore…"

"Breakups are like that," he said sagely.

"'Hoe LeBeau', that's what they call me. Real _fuckin'_ creative, aren't they? _And_ my dad and Rogue are fighting."

"Do you think they'll split up?"

She shrugged and bit her bottom lip.

After a pause, he said, "Maybe we could hang out some time. Just the two of us. That'd be weird, though, wouldn't it? I don't want to make things weird."

"No!" she said too quickly. "Just as long as we didn't do romantic stuff…"

Chiron raged: _*Do not let her assume a platonic position!*_

 _*She's a student and I'm a teacher's assistant. It's unethical to be anything else.*_

"Look," she said, "there's this cemetery I like to visit at night. It's a good place for voodoo dust and sometimes the zombies come out. That wouldn't be weird, would it?"

"Only if people _knew_."

She smiled. She couldn't keep doing that, it made him stupid.

* * *

Besides the cemetery, they partied a few times, but nothing like the old days. Mostly they snuck out at night to do the creepiest things they could think of: hunt Wendigoes; trespass abandoned military bases; and one time, they accidentally ended up in the Savage Land with no way home. That was scary. Being isolated in the jungle, constantly fighting for their lives (with very little coverage), forced him to admit his feelings.

"I'm crazy about you, honey, but I'm not _that_ crazy."

"How you mean?"

"Forget it."

"I know I fucked up a lot when I was younger," she looked him in the eye and said, "but I'm not that person anymore."

She was a grenade he didn't want to handle.

Back home, he stopped getting her alcohol, but she still came around. So he started quizzing her on medical terminology and _still_ she wanted to hang out. Desperate, he invited Monet and Paige around, and although Honor was clearly jealous, she didn't leave. It didn't matter what she wore, he wanted to run his hands over her. He was stuck on her like a fly in a honeypot.

So he did the only proper thing and asked her father to kill him.

"Gambit, I'd like to date your daughter."

He scowled and reared back. "Say again?"

Nate swallowed hard. "I realize she's only seventeen, but she's _very_ mature for her age."

"Only on the outside."

He wanted to inform Gambit that she was no innocent, but his death wish wasn't _that_ bold.

" _Allons_ ," the older man said, "Let's be honest. I know my daughter better than anyone. First three months of dating - _merveilleuse_. She'll be everything you ever wanted. But after that, she's impossible. Why? Because what makes her a dream also makes her a nightmare. My girl's an adventurer. She _needs_ a challenge or her soul dies. Once she's comfortable with you, she's bored, and then she's gone."

"With all due respect, I'm not asking to _marry_ her."

Honor loved him like no one else. Protecting his heart was futile; he felt the same way about her. They went skinny-dipping and sky-diving, stole the Blackbird (briefly), and took romantic, sex-fueled holidays abroad. They experimented with bondage. It was obvious she'd taken more lovers than Tessa and Ethan, but he tried to push that out of his mind. Until she brought up Giana.

"What if we tied her up and made her watch?" She saw displeasure cloud his eyes and said, "Lighten up! You don't think it'd be hot?"

Unbeknownst to him, his doubts and insecurities were shadows that slipped out and joined together. Every time she mentioned the new girl in her class, the shadow grew more powerful. Her father's advice echoed in his mind – _three months and she's gone_ – until Nate made it so.

 _*Love is a_ _ **gift**_ _from the cosmos,*_ Chiron remarked, _*Can you envision a future without her?*_

He couldn't. But he wasn't game for an orgy and he wasn't going to be a cuckold, either. So he kindly let her go. That conversation was dreadful – tears and screaming and shoving. Honor was nothing if not dramatic. But afterwards, she wasn't hell-bent on revenge like Melody had been.

Despondent, he wore a mask of indifference. He dated women he didn't really like because he thought sex made him a happier person. _Honor_ had made him a happier person. Every uncherished lover drove Chiron further away, and every lie fed the darkness he'd sworn to cure.

* * *

 _Thanksgiving  
Anchorage  
_"What is this _piece of junk_? Your father wouldn't _give_ you the Cessna?"

Nate scoffed. "You know that's his baby."

His mom kissed his cheek and then eyed the beat-up old Chief with distain. "He can afford a new one. Tell him to buy himself a new plane and give you the Cessna."

"Maybe I'll get it in the next divorce." Although his dad knew peace with Emma.

As they walked to her car, he noticed she walked with a limp. He asked about it and she waved it off.

" _Arthritis_. You'll get it too, don't worry. Local Inuit sold me raisins soaked in gin and I swear they help. Don't tell me they don't. You doctors think you know everything but you don't."

"Maybe I better drive."

It had been a long time since he'd been home, but his mom had aged too much. She was pale and tired easily and had ailments atypical for a pre-menopausal woman. Every time he tried to bring it up, she replied that his dad didn't do enough for him; that he should date more; that he should bring his girlfriends home; that he shouldn't ride the train to school because trains were dangerous.

Mom didn't cook. They always got Chinese take-out for Thanksgiving, but even that left her exhausted.

"Go lay down and watch some TV," Nate said, "I'll clean up."

"I hang the rag up over the strainer to dry."

"Okay, Mom."

"And wipe up the counter when you're done."

"Go to bed, Mom."

"And don't throw out the containers. We can re-use those."

" _Go!"_

He put his headphones on and listened to the Misfits while cleaning. There wasn't much food in the house, which worried him. Suddenly, Danzig was annoying. He turned the music off and realized the house had gone deadly quiet. Outside, fog had rolled in. He peered through the window over the sink and couldn't see a single street light. Something slammed against the glass. He started and then ran over to see what had left an imprint.

Nothing.

Then, the ghostly impression of Apocalypse's face formed like hot breath on a cold pane.

 _ **I will haunt you forever.**_

 _The half-formed, unborn fetus beheld backwards hands with empty eyes._

 _ **The deadwood burns away.**_

 _An ocean of wolves surged towards the hellish manifestation. It offered its deformed hands._

"There's got to be another way!"

But there wasn't. In his cowardice, the darkness had gained ground. He wouldn't sacrifice more flesh to the Legacy Virus; he wouldn't risk his heart in Honor's hands; he wouldn't risk Xavier's fury by hunting down Ethan; but he'd tempted the shadows to come closer. He'd given it _hope_. Now, it would annihilate him for failing to deliver.

Ethan led a dozen enemies against the X-Men. Whether he'd been possessed by evil or had cultivated it, there was no doubt now that the villain calling himself "Stryfe" was everything wicked. He blew up Xavier Academy. The fortunate students perished in the immediate flames, but others were crushed to death or were trapped without air. Survivors were forced to leave limbs behind.

Astonishingly, Stryfe came to witness the destruction _in person_. The Juggernaut (sometime enemy but current X-Men ally) destroyed him. All that remained was unidentifiable pulp.

His associates were more subtle. Mr. Sinister, for example, twisted Gambit's mind for months. He kidnapped his own children, delivered them to the mad scientist, and then somehow broke free of his conditioning. Their safety cost him and Rogue their lives.

Madelyne, Nate's mother, was merely one of many inflicted with artificial cancer. Ethan had manipulated her cells to sabotage her – _just because he could_. For days and weeks and months she had suffered. The doctors couldn't explain it but she watched her body deteriorate, knowing it would never recover. And when death came for her at last, no one was there to hear her final words except a silver-framed picture of her little boy.

Death and more death.

Nate wanted to turn back time and undo what had been done, but even with his immense power, he didn't know where to start.

The defeat shattered his father, which was a darkness Nate hadn't anticipated. They were dressing for the funeral of Honor's mother when his dad asked, "Was I wrong?"

Nate clipped Xander's tie on for him and sent him outside.

"I gave so much to Xavier's dream," Scott said. "My whole life… I was wrong."

Nate could see the dark path his father was taking and said, "We can't think about that now. Gambit and Rogue's kids need us. Honor-"

His dad scoffed, " _She_ needs more than _anyone_ can give. But… the kids… You're right. Who's going to teach them how to ride a bike or change a tire?"

Overcome, he struggled to reply "We will."

Before the service, Honor had asked him to sit beside her. Renegade, her brother, was married now so he had his wife; and her mother's daughter was too young to provide strength.

"I don't want to be alone," said Honor. She laughed bitterly and added, "The story of my life."

He hugged her and found his lips pressed against her ear.

That night, they did what they did best. He didn't press her for any commitment even though it weighed heavy on his mind. In the morning, she seemed surprised to see him.

"I made a mistake by leaving last time," he said.

"Thank you…"

"But that's not what you wanted to hear?"

"My siblings need me. And I need them. I can't give them what they need if I'm with somebody. I'm sorry."

A sharp pain pierced his chest and shot through his disfigured arm. He feared a severe medical issue, but forced himself to lie. "I understand."

…

 _To Be Continued.._


	6. Ten Thousand Things

**Chapter Six: Ten Thousand Things**

What did he have left? Everything he'd been was things other people had given him – his name, relationships, history… Occasionally he had a cosmic fire-dragon give stern and vague instructions. Then he was alone again. Always so alone. He would've hated himself if there'd been anything to hate.

Through this numb and unnamable, unshakeable grief (which he'd realized was his eternal cross) he heard the cry of Chiron: _*Wakanda*._

To Google!

' _A small African nation known for its unique technological advances. Bordering_ _Azania, Ethiopia, and Kenya, Wakanda has many natural resources and benefits from political stability.'_

Between semesters, he journeyed to the cradle of humanity. The "light of Africa" enjoyed political stability under the iron fist of an ancient cult; its technology was unique because it was incompatible with other systems; and its greatest natural resource was tightly controlled by the most power families, who lived in luxury beyond his imagination in the capital. Somehow, extravagant wealth and unimaginable poverty often went hand-in-hand. His goal of restoring balance probably kept him from committing suicide during his residency at McTaggert's Children's Hospital in New York.

What remained of the X-Men was led by Dani Moonstar. She was everything they needed, and everything _he_ needed. They moved in together. For years they slept and ate side-by-side, but all the while little threads weakened. He didn't know when it all fell apart. Maybe they'd never been solid to begin with.

* * *

 _Three years later  
Wakanda_  
He inhaled deeply the humid African dawn. The sun rose slowly, unchallenged, and warmed the sick blood dripping through his metallic veins. Extreme heat alleviated his symptoms. He was happier here than he'd been since before his mother- No, he couldn't think about that now.

Dr. Nathan Summers had learned everything books could teach him. It was time once more to venture into unknown land. Recently, Wakanda had experienced rare political upheaval. King T'Challa found his position challenged and while his capital was recovered, the rest of the country wasn't so lucky. But Wakanda was a proud and independent nation. They weren't eager to be flooded by white charities like their less wealthy neighbors. He finally got access for "research and development" on the condition that his research belonged to _Wakanda_ – not him.

But now his health was failing.

Somedays he was barely alive.

As a back-up, he brought a team and began laying the ground work for them to replace him. King T'Challa agreed on condition that the team also police the local villages. Local councils would decide laws and punishments, but Nate's team would enforce those decisions. Honor, along with her siblings, came back into his life.

The Summers family had fulfilled their promise to safe guard the LeBeau orphans. Raven (that's what the girl was calling herself now) wanted to be a superhero like her late parents. The boy, Oli, had a crush on Nate's little sister, Meg. Poor kid couldn't think of anything else. He would eventually marry her, join the X-Men and become the successor Scott Summers always wanted. Honor had been busy, too – dropped out of college, got engaged twice but never married, and was constantly in trouble with the law but somehow always landed on her feet.

Now they were all together in Wakanda. If Chiron wouldn't let Nate die at home, at least he could die surrounded by those he loved best.

The twangy cords of 'Born on the Bayou' called his attention to the river bank, where Honor was digging a ditch in denim cut-offs.

"Good morning," he waved.

She looked over her shoulder at the sun. "So it is."

"What's happening? You're never up this early."

"Sleep is for the weak!" She crawled out, covered in mud. "I'm gator-fishin'."

He paused. "Is that _legal_?"

"Particular croc's scarin' the locals. I dug this lovely little nest for him to find today. Which he will. Then I'm gonna catch him, take him back upstream, and leave him there."

And she did. _Alone_. Watching made his ass clench, but she acted like it was old form.

Later, he got her back. There was a sick boy in the village and his mother had no way to transport him to the health center. Honor ran through a monsoon at night to carry the child herself. Once he was stabilized, Nate realized she was trembling with adrenaline.

"Hey, take it easy, killer. He's gonna be fine."

She sobbed and laughed at the same time. The sound was beautiful and primal and sparked a yearning in his heart that he hadn't experienced in years.

Competition for mating rights in camp was intense and she was the most desirable female partner. She was fearless, shrew, and every part of her could've been compared to ripened fruit. Like a rogue male lion in an Attenborough documentary, Nate was going to have to impress to succeed. No sense relying on an old friendship to win her heart (and other parts). He planned to wine and dine her – even got her little sisters to personalize the details – but the evening of their date, she stood him up. By curfew, she still hadn't returned, so a search party was organized. He thought she'd flaked out. Maybe she'd found someone more "challenging".

 _If only._

She'd wandered outside after a fight with Raven. In an uncleared field, she'd struck a landmine and badly damaged her leg. Then she'd been stranded at the mercy of the elements until rescue came.

Insects and bacteria had already taken hold by the time she reached the medical center. She'd lost a tremendous amount of blood.

If her leg couldn't be saved, he wasn't sure he had the tools or enough medicine to amputate.

It cost him several inches of flesh, but he used his mutant powers to heal her. Every time he thought he'd succeeded, infection returned. Septicemia set it. Bacteria reached bone and then her leg couldn't be saved. Amputation was bloody and desperate but ultimately successful. Still, she hovered between life and death. He clung to her arm, prolonging her life by sacrificing more precious territory to the Legacy Virus.

He radioed the nearest hospital and they moved her by ambulance. Certain that her death was imminent, he insisted on staying with her, but the medical staff refused him entry to the operating room. Livid, his vision acutely blurred, so he sat down quietly, where he fell into a fevered nightmare.

 _The universal infant was trapped. On the otherside was a leg, but that place was unreachable. Nate offered to sacrifice his leg._

 _*That's not how this works* the universe replied._

 _*It's so calm. The wolves… Where are the wolves?*_

 _*Can't you see them?*_

"Dr. Summers? Dr. Summers, she's awake now. Would you like to see her?" asked a nurse.

In a hall lined with beds, Honor was propped up, biting her nails and weeping. She looked away as he pulled her close.

"I did everything I could to save your leg," he said. He talked about prosthetics and physical therapy while her head nodded thoughtlessly. Silently, her fingers trailed over his disfigured flesh. He tried to push her away but she persisted.

" _This_ happens when you use your powers?" she asked.

"I would've bled dry for you."

"Why? You think the ultimate sacrifice means you've done the ultimate good? It doesn't. You're a doctor, you save lives. What am I? _A mess_!" she laughed bitterly.

"Everyone loves you."

"Because I have an hour-glass body, but now my body's…" Her face crumbled and she sobbed herself to sleep.

When he was sure no one was watching, he began inquiring into the miracle technique used to save her life. After much investigation, a nurse revealed 'vibertal', which was a drug he'd never heard of before. More inquires revealed that the drug was based on vibranium, an element unique to Wakanda. Despite his status as a doctor in research and development, no one would admit him into a laboratory where vibranium was stored.

"This is a nation of pricks!" Honor lamented. "Why did you bring us here?"

He couldn't confess to following the summons of a supernatural being. Instead, he smiled and replied, " _Fate_. And they're not all pricks. This is a tiny nation on a continent long exploited for its natural resources. If you shared that history, you might also be inclined to horde."

"Why do you care, anyway? I'm healed now. If I need more of that stuff, we can go back to the hospital."

It had only been a few weeks since her amputation but the scar wasn't healing. As he re-wrapped the bandages, he lectured her about resting.

"Don't change the subject," she snapped. "Why do you care?"

"Firstly, if they have a miracle antibiotic, they have an ethical duty to publish it. But I suspect they'd prefer to harvest the element for military instead of medical purposes."

"Wow. Something that can kill _and_ cure. Wouldn't that be something?"

He found himself absently stroking her thigh. Blushing, he pretended to check her bandages.

"Why'd you stop?" she asked. "That felt good."

Flustered, he reminded her to rest, drink plenty of fluids, and then he rushed out of the room.

That night he dreamed of a life he'd never known. Four-thousand times, the sun rose and set in rapid succession while he and Honor slept in tangled sheets. Outside their window, a great war raged, but she slept through it. The ground shook with thunderous terror as out of the deep emerged a great, roaring dragon. Chiron had risen! He wasn't otherworldly but fire and flesh with a serpentine body and crocodilian head. His deafening roar brought wolves from the mountains. Beneath this terrific display of power, the universal infant slowly reached for its detached leg.

 _*I hope he gets it right this time*_ Nate thought.

The universe answered _*I hope he gets it right this time.*_

* * *

Following his unforgiveable forwardness, Honor had been uncharacteristically withdrawn. It wasn't towards _him_ , either. Previous competitors for her affection were now coldly and solidly rejected. No one knew how to treat her, including her sisters, and Nate realized her bitterness was becoming an issue for everyone. He confronted her (why? When had that ever worked to his advantage?) and she left in tears.

Two agonizing days later, she returned. Her bicycle was wrecked and her hands and knees were bleeding, but she refused to say where she'd been.

He patched her up in silence.

"Why aren't you talking to me?" she asked.

"It's pretty clear you're not going to listen to anything I have to say."

"I've never asked you for anything."

"Never had to," he bitterly interjected.

"I've never asked you for anything but I'm asking for something now… Tomorrow morning, a military convoy's coming. They're going to arrest me. And I want you to let them."

"God in heaven. What've you done?"

"They can't prove anything. They'll have to release me eventually. If you fight it, it could jeopardize everything you've accomplished here. Let me go and I promise I'll come back."

The armed convoy took Honor _and_ most of the camp's supplies.

Nate stood immobile. He felt disgusted and helpless, violated and outraged.

 _*Why did you bring me here? To fail? Anyone could've failed!*_

Chiron answered: _*Oh, impatient one! What did you ever accomplish in times of plenty?*_

"Nate?" Honor's sister, Raven, lightly touched his shoulder. "What should we do?"

"We're going to get her back."

"How?"

"We're going to the prison. If I've got to break every door, I will. I know that sounds absurd but-"

"Let's roll!"

Raven would've done her mom proud. She wasn't afraid to break a sweat or anything else in her quest.

On the flight out, she'd asked if he was in love with Honor. Hesitantly, he said yes. She then asked why they hadn't hooked up yet and he gave a bullshit answer about timing. But he knew it was a lie and it stuck in his mind. The _real_ reason why they weren't together was because he'd been too cowardly. Honor had the power to shatter him even more than Melody ever had and he'd been too goddamn scared to risk it. Fear had always been his problem; that's why his mom died, why he'd never confronted his father, and why Dani took over the X-Men instead of him. He was still afraid, but he was more pissed. He was angry at himself for failing to protect his friend. He would risk everything - even his life - to free her, but he didn't yet know what the consequences would be. It terrified him, but for once that wasn't enough to paralyze him.

Raven cracked her knuckles and stepped closer to the gate. "Sure you don't wanna do this the easy way?"

"Stay where you are!" a guard bellowed over the PA system.

Nate touched her shoulder and telepathically scanned the palace. "The person we need is on the fourth floor."

"Are we doing this Hulk-mode? Or are you going to use fancy Jedi mind tricks?"

"I'm powerful enough to _find her_ but I'm no Xavier."

"I can smash for two!" She grabbed his collar and shot into the air. They broke through the brick wall and stumbled into the fourth-floor corridor. Every hallway ended in a double-locked, concrete door that she easily broke through.

The prisoners were riotous and the guards were swarming in.

Nate telekinetically opened the door to Honor's cell and she limped out as fast as she could.

"Too bad you didn't bring a sidecar!" she joked as Raven took her hand.

He rejected Raven's other hand. "You carry your sister, I can handle myself."

"But – your powers-?"

"Don't be stupid!" Honor said. "Take her hand."

He hadn't flown with his own TK since contracting the Legacy Virus. But he forced himself to do it. Each second was blinding agony, and he kept waiting to pass out, but somehow, he returned to the campus on his own. Delirious, he went immediately to the medical center where Honor checked him for bullet wounds.

"Sorry," he slurred.

"For what?"

"You told me to let them take you. That you'd come back. I couldn't let that happen."

"You don't know much about women, do you?"

"Does anybody?"

"Do you even know _why_ they arrested me?"

Peeking into people's minds uninvited was Jean's MO, not his, but Honor enjoyed broadcasting her thoughts. Keeping secrets wasn't like her. Now she had one and wanted him to find it, so he probed her surface thoughts and discovered an underworld every bit as marvelous as her persona.

"There's a military lab not far from here," he said. "You probably broke in because you knew they had vibranium samples and you knew I'd never get it myself. You let them arrest you so they wouldn't arrest _me_. Even though you wanted me to fight for you, you didn't think I would, so you told me not to."

"Using your telepathy is an unfair advantage."

"Only thing I can't figure out is where you hid the damned thing."

She smiled. "Secrets of the trade. I can't tell you yet-"

"Because the police are coming back."

Her smile tightened. "You should've left me there to rot."

"I should've _protected_ you."

"Your work is more important-"

" _Bullshit_."

Her dark eyes sparkled. "I've never seen you like this. Did something happen?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're _you_!"

They kissed and dark unknowing filled him. Unlimited possibilities can only emerge from nothing, he knew that now, and it no longer frightened him. This was what Chiron had wanted him to discover. It seemed so simple.

Her hands brushed the hem of his shirt, sweetly requesting admittance. He quickly submitted and her touch made him burn. When they came together, she burned, too, and the deadwood fell away. Passion and surrender had never come so naturally. They loved each other for what they were and not for what they hoped to find.

That night, he watched her sleep. He'd foolishly poured himself into her and there was no going back. Hopefully, she'd forgive him.

Armed forces arrived in the morning, but they stayed back as a single diplomat knocked on the door and waited to be invited inside.

Ambassador Solomon Goodluck smiled when he said, " _Mutants_! Whenever there is a problem, I can always find a mutant!"

His placid expression never wavered as he threatened armed extraction, insulted their race, and received threats and insults in kind. Nate could appreciate the position Mr. Goodluck was in, but the worst he could do was send them home. He wanted the vibranium samples but he had nothing to bargain with. In the end, he resorted to shame.

"Dr. Summers, what sort of _doctor_ are you?" asked Mr. Goodluck.

"A _pediatrician_ ," Honor interjected.

Goodluck sneered and Nate said, "At least I'm not a _dentist_."

"My _father_ was a dentist."

"Well…" said Nate, lost for words.

Goodluck stood and roughly pulled his blazer back on. With one last smiling sneer, he departed.

The arresting officers had taken most of his supplies when they'd taken Honor, and tracking down _goods_ turned out to be much more complicated than a jailbreak. The government stonewalled him, of course, and his reliance on the village for basic goods created tension.

It was an odd time. Professionally, his life was falling apart. And his health had never been worse. But he derived impossible joy from having Honor and knowing she was there. She reminded him how much he'd enjoyed music and children by teaching the local kids David Bowie songs on piano. The parents weren't pleased. Most of them didn't even know who Bowie was. Undeterred, Honor planned a big production of _Hunky Dory_ that was a smash. He was grateful she had a distraction so she didn't realize how sick he was.

A couple weeks after Mr. Goodluck's visit, Nate visited the capital to personally request the return of his supplies. This time, he spoke to a faux-serene woman named Miriam Osuwu.

"Thank you for your patience, Dr. Summers. I apologize for the breakdown of communication, and I hope you don't believe it was _intentional_."

"I just want my equipment back."

"Follow me, please."

She led him to a laboratory in the palace. Like everything in the capital, the place was unbelievably sophisticated. Nate recognized his microscope and other miscellaneous items, but he wasn't prepared to snatch them off the tables and run.

Miriam watched him with a fake smile firmly in place. "Welcome to your lab, Director Dr. Summers."

The room spun.

"Three departments with fifteen members total will report to you," she said. "As a chief member of the royal staff, you have your own apartments in the palace. Any additional needs you may have can be requisitioned to directly to the monarch. Wakanda takes pursuit of scientific knowledge _very_ seriously."

Breathless, he sat down.

"Congratulations, doctor."

…

 _To Be Continued.._

…

 **Notes:** The Tao Te Ching states: "Tao gives birth to one; One gives birth to two; Two gives birth to three; Three gives birth to ten thousand beings. Ten thousand beings carry yin on their backs and embrace yang in their front; Blending these two vital breaths to attain harmony." It's about as close to a creation myth as Tao gets. This chapter is very much a creation story, how many things come from nothing. I was also influenced here by Carl Jung's "Introduction to the Religious and Psychological Problems of Alchemy" in 'Psychology and Alchemy', but I can't really throw it a quote to link it all together because everything Jung said or wrote was meant to be taken in context to everything else. However, the most important point here is Nate's honesty. He's finally telling the truth and it's completely changed his life.


	7. Pleroma

**Chapter Seven: Pleroma**

"It's a trap," Honor said.

He agreed. " _Obviously_."

"They think someone's bribed you-"

"Yes," he snapped, "And they want to _buy me back_. I can't tell them the _truth_ , can I?"

"You wanna rumble, _chico_? Let's go."

"I'm sorry." He said because he couldn't tell _her_ the truth, either.

* * *

Although the rest of the team remained at camp in the village, Nate and Honor moved into his royal apartments. He went from being barely tolerated in Wakanda to eating dinner with King T'Challa and his sister, Shuri. It was ridiculous.

Nate was given bleeding-edge technology to combat his Legacy Virus but it only postponed the inevitable.

"Stop taking the medicine if it's not helping," Honor said.

He forced a smile. "It's helping. How's the new piano working out?"

When Shuri had discovered Honor loved music, she'd gifted a baby grand.

"These people are so _strange_ ," she replied. "They're _obsessed_ with money and what it can buy, but they don't _do_ **anything**. Do you know she had this thing and didn't even know where the keys were? She gave it to me to make room for _fountain_."

"That poor piano probably thought it'd be polished for generations."

She sat down and played a haunting melody he'd never heard before. Or had he?

"Is that Bowie?" he asked.

"Beck."

"Is he in the same genre? What is it even _called_?"

She shrugged. " _Good?_ I don't know."

"Babe, you don't even know? Come on, you spend all day every day on music and you don't even know what it's called? Your parents paid for Juilliard!"

"One semester with those pompous assholes was all I could handle. You want _that_? Is that what you consider _worthy_? That over-educated, elitist-!"

He held up his hands in surrender. "Just wanna know what I'm listening to."

"It's _good_. From now on, we're calling it _good_ music."

"Okay." He didn't have the strength to argue.

"You don't have to have a degree in abstract tunes to appreciate it, either, because _music_ is the one thing in life that should be _free_."

"Okay."

"I alone can bestow the title."

"I said _okay_!"

Fear flickered and then faded from her face. Imitating indifference, she said, "Hope our baby likes good music 'cause she's going to hear a lot of it."

The edges of the room dimmed. He felt like he was waking from a dream to discover the dream was reality.

"Did you miss that?" she asked.

"I'm… not surprised."

"Neither was I."

Her smile threatened to overwhelm him, so he stupidly joked: "Have you told the father yet?"

She scoffed and threw a three-hundred-dollar decorative pillow at him.

* * *

Knowing he would soon be a father gave Nate peace about his inevitable death but also possessive for his life. Irony was perennial. As he withered away, the baby in her belly continued to grow.

Was it feeding off his soul?

His job was an incredible burden. He spent all his energy solving problems and had nothing left to give to future projects or Honor or their child. She was terribly ill, too. At first, it was endearing: they'd lay side-by-side in the hospital. She'd drink frozen lemonade while he made the sort of vulgar, ruthless jokes only sick people can laugh at. It was fun. _At first_. But then she couldn't stop vomiting and urinating. Going to his appointments required all her energy, so he asked her to stay home instead.

Of course, _he_ still had to go to work afterwards. What did _she_ do? If she even played a song, it was a miracle! The songs weren't that good - certainly not good enough to financially support them. Why couldn't she comprehend how _dire_ their situation was?

Neither one of them had the energy to housekeep, so he hired some of the royal staff. She never asked where the money came from. She continued to scoff the "opulent" lifestyle of her peers without ever questioning her own status. When he pointed it out, she shrugged and replied that it didn't bother her to eat take-out or have dirty laundry piled up. When was she going to grow up? She was twenty-nine-years-old and he wasn't going to be around forever.

But he couldn't _say_ that. It would only upset her.

Nor was he permitted to admit how much he resented all the things he used to love about her.

In a world where pregnant celebrities posed naked on magazine covers, it was _morally reprehensible_ for a man to be repulsed by the woman carrying his child. It wasn't just weight gain. She had a moving, bulging parasite that literally _pushed_ him away. She was moody and dependent. Of course he'd take a bullet for her – he just didn't want to make love to her.

* * *

The week before her due date, Honor sat in bed and read _The Call of Cthulhu_ aloud.

"No book had ever really hinted of it, though the deathless Chinamen said that there were double meanings in the _Necronomicon_ of the mad Arab Abdul Alhazred which the initiated might read as they chose, especially the much-discussed couplet-"

"Must you?" he snapped.

She rubbed her massive belly. "'That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange aeons even death may die.'"

Groaning, he pulled his pillow over his ears and tried to sleep.

In the morning, he awoke numb and gasping for air. He felt as if his lungs had been filled with wet concrete that was slowly drying. As calmly and firmly as he was able, he told her to call an ambulance.

 _*If you expect me to survive this, you'll have to fight. I haven't any strength left_.* He told Chiron.

 _*I would've healed you long ago if I had the power.*_

Nate recalled his last infirmary when he was eighteen and had contracted the Virus. He'd forgotten how much he'd loved horror stories at that age. And music. Now that he reflected, Honor and that young man had a lot in common, and he would've been elated to find such a partner.

Tears rolled down his face.

 _*She'll never know how much I love her.*_

Despite his threat to Chiron, he fought death's warm embrace. He called for Honor but she never appeared. Through a haze, he heard her screams, and then a man told him that his daughter had been born.

The King came to his bedside. Nate made him promise to protect his child so he could pass peacefully. With a wicked grin, the King promised, so the fight became instinctive, fueled by painless fury granted only to parents and beasts. If Honor would come, he could warn _her_.

He gasped but couldn't breathe.

Death stood at his bedside as he drowned in steel.

He gasped. _*Honor!*_ Couldn't breathe.

"Let me see him!" Honor shouted. She blew down the door and limped as fast as she could.

But she was too late.

Nate saw himself in bed. He was solid steel. Hysterical, she grabbed his chest and it turned bright blue with kinetic energy. Had she lost control of her power? Or was she trying to kill them both?

Before the charge ignited, she pulled a syringe and stabbed it in his heart. Five hundred milligrams of raw vibranium rushed through his steel veins, absorbed the metal, and returned his organic nature. Warm relief washed over him before his telepathy and telekinesis accelerated into Omega levels. The explosive charge, which only worked on inorganic elements, evaporated. The death grip of the Legacy Virus released him at long last, and energy and strength euphorically swept him.

"My love!" she sobbed with relief.

Roaring commotion faded away and took her with it. As sweet air filled his lungs, he watched his savior, the love of his life, manhandled like a common criminal. Ten months ago, she'd stolen Wakanda's precious vibranium, and now she'd confessed to the crime by saving his life.

With technical color clarity, he envisioned the universe as it could be: a grown man capable of destroying the Wolves, incorporating the shadows, and fathering a new age. Right now, it was still a broken infant: yearning and weak and incomplete. _But Nate had the power to help._

 _*You can wait a damn minute.*_ He told it. After all, what had the universe ever done for him?

Down the hall, Honor was hysterical. The police kept handcuffing her and she kept slipping out of them. She ran for the door, but a guard blocked her and she fell to the floor. He raised a baton when Nate peeled back the walls.

"Touch her again and I'll flay you alive."

No one spoke.

Honor didn't seem to see him or even wonder how the roof remained afloat without walls to support it. She ran to the room where their daughter was and gathered her up.

He could see their hearts pressed together, beating as one. In her mind, he saw irrational fear battling foolish devotion. She'd been so afraid of losing everything.

"You're safe now," he said.

"I want to go home! This isn't-"

"What will it take to convince you? Do you want me to kill T'Challa? All his lackeys? I could be king and you will be my queen. If that's what you want."

No, it wasn't. He saw it clearly in her eyes. She wanted the same thing she'd always wanted; to challenge life and create the strange songs that spilled out of her dreams.

* * *

"Oh, look at her little fingers!"

"Her nose!"

Honor's sisters cooed at the baby. They'd supposedly come to help her move, but a group of friendly women are rarely productive. Nate had arranged for professional movers ahead of time.

"Have you picked a name yet?" asked Raven.

Honor looked at him nervously (she was often edgy now) and said, "We have a list but no winners yet."

"Tell me truly… Is 'Belle' on the list?"

Nate answered for her, "We've discussed it and decided the baby should have her own name. If we name her for one of our late mothers, she'll forever be associated with them. We want her to have her own identity."

The girls nodded sensibly but Honor pursed her lips. It had been a point of contention. She _desperately_ wanted to name the baby Annabelle after her late mother and stepmother but Nate hated that name. Reminded him of that stupid movie. He especially loathed the inevitable nickname "Annie".

Jesus, he hoped they agreed on a name before she resorted to tears. He was powerless against that.

"Excuse me, ladies, I have a conference."

Again, he felt Honor's anxiety spike. The less she knew the better, but he couldn't hide everything from her. She knew he was meeting with T'Challa to discuss his future (and therefore, _their_ future) in Wakanda.

"His Majesty will see you now."

King T'Challa dismissed his advisors and crossed the room to greet him. The man was as gracious as he was cunning, but it was difficult to penetrate his royal exterior and truly understand him.

"Dr. Summers, you're looking well. I hope you don't mind me saying so, but the Legacy Virus made you larger."

"Not where it counts."

He laughed boldly. "Please, sit. I hear you're moving out of the palace."

"As I'm sure you know, that was Honor's insistence. It's always been her dream to live in the country."

The King waited but Nate said nothing more. The silence stretched on until T'Challa asked about his job and he replied that commuting wouldn't be an issue.

"I can teleport and be anywhere I chose instantaneously."

The Janus royal mask suddenly flipped from jovial to displeasure. "Will you?"

"I see no reason to. My intention is the same as it was when I first arrived. To change the world as only Wakanda can."

Nate wanted to reassure the King of his personal happiness, but that was an unquantifiable variable, which he knew the man wouldn't accept. Nor would promises suffice. He would have to gain the King's respect before he could earn his trust, and that seemed as unlikely as ever.

He returned to a silent house. Honor started when he opened the door. (Why had her sisters left her alone?) The baby was sleeping, but her mother waited tensely for the call to duty. She held her breath while he relayed his conversation with the King.

"Sweetheart, are you okay?" he asked, knowing she wasn't.

"What do you think about 'Aurora'?"

"Aurora Summers?"

She stiffened. "Aurora _LeBeau_."

"She's-"

"Your father has half a dozen children to pass on the Summers name! My father had _one_ son and he changed his name! AND he's practically a Summers _anyway_! We aren't married! You won't let me name her after my mothers! She's a LeBeau!"

"Won't _let_ you? When did I ever _stop_ you?"

Both his girls were crying and the tears weren't worth it.

Annabelle: it was.

* * *

Fortunately, life got easier. With King T'Challa's blessing, Nate developed a vibranium-based cure for the Legacy Virus, which strengthened Wakanda's economy. But the King was also concerned with defense, so Dr. Summers helped engineer a series of weapons that would eventually cost his Nobel Peace Prize. The King was more than a shrewd politician; he was also an educated intellectual. Nate found he could discuss any topic – family dynamics, American football, astrophysics, _anything_ – and the King could supply a well-thought, valid opinion.

It was a shame he couldn't have such stimulating conversations with Honor. The wild, fun-loving adventurer he'd fallen for vanished behind motherhood. (Yet another blasphemous opinion he had to keep private.)

Once Nate had established a good team inside the palace, his workload decreased dramatically. He was able to see more of his daughter and realized he was still rather fond of her mother, too. They'd been through Hell together. Well, not _literal_ Hell – he'd been there as a teenager; and it wasn't as bad as his residency, either. His mother's death was a Hell he never escaped. Top five, then. Of all the Hells Nate had experienced, parenting a newborn was in the top five. But he and Honor emerged with their relationship intact, so he knew she was a safe bet.

Their relationship wasn't as strong as it had once been, but he was committed to making it work and wanted to make things official. Everyone was elated. It could've been a social event, but he wanted something small and she agreed. They booked a tiny cabin in Anchorage for a little honeymoon. His dad would fly in to officiate the ceremony but no one else was invited.

Shortly before the "big day", Honor's father returned from the dead. It was a common occurrence for an X-Man, but she was understandably shaken and wanted to spend time with him. A week in New Orleans turned into two; then four; then six.

"We have a child now and she should be near her family," she said.

" _I'm_ her family."

"Then come home."

"New Orleans isn't home for me!" He wanted to reach through the video-chat and strangle her.

"Neither is Wakanda! What are you _doing_ there? Building weapons of mass destruction..? You're a _doctor_ , for Christ's sake! You should _know_ better."

"I didn't hear any complaints when my job provided you with a lavish lifestyle."

" _I told you_ I didn't need it."

"But you never worked towards anything else!"

"How could I when you were gone all the time? Who was going to tend the baby?"

The blame game went around and round but neither gave an inch.

She never came back and he only saw Annabelle on holidays. That was a new Hell. Being home, seeing the place his girls _should've_ been but _weren't_ , was too painful.

So he engineered and then helped build the Iron Skull: the apex vibranium achievement.

As long as he was _working_ , he could look down at his grief like a pilot looks down on a storm. It wasn't the torment of first heartbreak or sickness, which he couldn't escape; nor was it a suffering with future benefits like med school. Losing his family was absolute Hell, but it was a Hell he could chose to abandon.

Years ago, when Nate's parents divorced, he thought it was because his dad had put work before his family. Now he knew better. He knew that cheap, unfaithful old man better than he wanted. Scott Summers didn't _choose_ his work; he _clung_ to it because after his wife left him, she took everything. Not just ice trays and airplanes – she robbed him of his identity.

Nate knew – _knew in his bones_ – that Annabelle would grow-up half worshipping and half loathing her father. His words and deeds would be sacred or shit – nowhere in between. Her identity would be mostly created in reaction to what he did or what he failed to do.

He'd become the one thing he swore he'd never be: his father.

…

 _To Be Continued.._


	8. Chaos and Order

**Chapter Eight: Chaos and Order**

It wasn't fair. It just wasn't fair.

Nate had done everything Chiron instructed him to do. He'd even suffered immeasurably with sickness and death. The only thing he wanted was his family, but they'd sounded rejected him – not for himself – but for staying in Wakanda _like Chiron demanded_. Perhaps immortal fire-dragons didn't traditionally respect the rights of their vessels, but Nate wasn't a helpless host like Jean had been. He was going to track down Chiron and demand an explanation.

Using the best in Wakandian technology and telepathic capabilities, Nate created a key dubbed 'The Iron Skull', which would allow him to access the cosmic realm. Since all his research belonged to the King, he questioned the need for such a thing.

"Surely, your guardian will appear in times of need," T'Challa said.

"I need something it's not willing to give."

The King scoffed. "And you intend to force its hand?"

"Yes."

"Tell me more."

Reality existed on many planes. Chiron primarily existed in one inaccessible by telepathy or reality distortions like those created by time-traveling devices. In order for Nate to reach that plane, he had to create a hybrid of mental and physical tools. The Iron Skull was complete. However, beyond this knowledge, he could only hypothesize. He didn't know what fate awaited him or if he would return.

T'Challa asked, "What about your woman and child?"

"They're not coming back," he said.

The King granted permission to undertake this dangerous mission – on the condition that he accompanied his Chief Doctor. Nate tried to talk him out of it. (If T'Challa didn't survive, he'd be in big trouble.) But it was futile. Apparently, Black Panther (the cosmic feline which protected Wakanda) hadn't shared _any_ knowledge. It offered only power. The King was naturally curious and wanted to know if Nate's tales about a broken universe struggling to exist in a world of hungry wolves bore any weight.

Together, they set off.

* * *

The cosmic realm was a vibrant tornado of all things. Nate had hoped (and foolishly expected) to find something stable to anchor his bearings, but constantly flowing chaos encompassed them. With great effort, he managed to keep T'Challa with him. If they separated, the King would perish.

"How do we get out?" T'Challa asked.

Hand-in-hand, they tried to escape and stand outside the madness, but _there was no outside_. It encompassed all. Overhead was an enormous eye which rolled about, casting destruction wherever it gazed. The natural flow carried them away from the eye. Too late, they realized they were flying into hungry jaws.

Nate shielded them with all his might and braced for certain demise. Dark pressure embraced them. The cosmos bit down and chipped a tooth – which sparked a violent reaction. It screamed until he thought his skull would explode. Down its throat he glimpsed freedom. In light, incredible guardians like the Phoenix were born, but the afterbirth melted into a tar pit. And from the darkness discarded by these entities emerged the Wolves.

Then, they were vomited out. The eye of death rolled to catch them.

Chiron slipped through. It snatched them protectively, just in time, and sneered.

 _*Well done, godhood conquerors! Have you had your fill of power? Do you still doubt my judgment?*_

"We stand humbled by the unknown," T'Challa replied.

But Nate was furious. _*I gave everything for this! You called me to save the universe and I answered! I did what you wanted and it drove her away! That's too much.*_

 _*You sacrificed what you were prepared to sacrifice. That is not_ _ **everything**_ _. Many eons ago, you were broken beyond repair, which is why you cannot be strong when you are alone. You cannot grow unless you suffer. You cannot save what you place below yourself. Why didn't you listen to your woman's voice?*_

Enraged, he summoned an astral axe to behead the dragon.

"Nathan, no!" T'Challa lunged and Chiron expelled them with disgust.

In a fraction of a second, Nate knew he had to retreat if he was going to save his friend's life. They were free-falling through the Earth's atmosphere and only Nate had the ability to fly. He raced down, scooped T'Challa, and they crash-landed in the ocean. By the time they'd reached the shore, the Iron Skull had been crushed.

* * *

 _New Orleans_  
"Daddy's here! Daddy's here!"

Inside, a piano tune came to a sudden stop. The LeBeau family lived in the Garden District, not far from Brad Pitt. Of course Honor had moved in with her father. She could never live alone; she'd never manage her own finances; and most of all, she'd never change.

"Sorry to show up unannounced," he said. It sounded like something a dead-beat ex-husband would say after a few too many drinks and he instantly regretted it.

"What're you doing here?" she asked.

"I don't know. I just know this is where I'm supposed to be. With you."

He envied her easy way with people; her vulnerabilities; her utter confidence that everything would always work in her favor. It wasn't love at first sight, nor did she love him. But there was always hope.

After an early dinner, Gambit insisted he stay the night and then helped Annabelle with her bath.

"But you never wash me, Grandpere, that's Mommy's job."

"Not tonight, jabberjaws."

Alone – sort of – Honor asked if he planned to return to Wakanda and what had become of his work. Bitterly, he admitted defeat.

"That place was no good for you," she said.

"How can you say that? If we'd never been there, we wouldn't have Annabelle."

She rolled her eyes. "You could've impregnated me _anywhere_. I don't know why Africa put some starch in your spine, but it didn't do anything for _me_."

"Get your head out of your ass for two minutes! I loved everything about Wakanda. _Everything_. I know it frightened you but everything foreign seems evil at first. Doesn't mean it is. T'Challa never even trusted me but he treated me better than my own father."

"He spoiled you. Your father loves you."

"Giving me the tools I needed to accomplish my tasks isn't spoiling! Do you have any idea what my equipment cost? Publishing fees, insurance-! Gah! Forget it, you don't care. Put it this way, took _more_ than _determination_ to create a cure for the Legacy Virus."

"Yeah, it also took _guts_ to steal the material. You're so quick to dismiss _my_ contribution but you go on and on about T'Challa's _generous funding_."

"Which helped more people?"

She wanted to kick him out for good, but before she could, there was a parental emergency. Annabelle had escaped her grandfather's watch and was running naked through the house. Her mother stepped in, but Honor was too lax with her. Their girl had too much _Madelyne_ in her, she needed a firm hand, but he didn't know how to parent _with_ Honor. Everything he said was challenged. He summoned every ounce of patience to explain himself rather than strangle her.

While they stepped through the awkward paces, he forgot about their fight. It seemed they both had. After they put Annie to bed, he vaguely recalled the hopeless feeling that Honor could never understand him. Maybe he understood her, but not well enough. Life with her would never be easy and maybe it was impossible.

On the porch, she talked about her job teaching piano lessons to rich kids.

"You deserve so much more," he scoffed.

"I enjoy it. You could probably find something to enjoy, too, if you stopped _thinking_ so much."

"I'm trying. Are you going to _start_ thinking?"

Her face flushed. "I'm not your fucking punching bag! If you're so happy being T'Challa's bitch, _go back!_ My life is _here_. I have a _job_ I like and a _good home_ for Annabelle and a _lover_ who's kind. When were you anything _more_ than a _resentful provider_? …We don't _need_ you anymore."

There it was – the most venomous words at her disposal.

Paralyzed, he replied weakly: "Annabelle needs both of us. We both know what it's like to grow up in a broken home, and that's not what we want for our daughter. How many times did we say it? I know I'm miserable and drive you nuts, but damnit girl, you're no pony-ride, either."

"Nate… We can't make promises to her we can't keep." She wiped tears from her face.

"I can't wait my whole life for you to commit," he said. "I left behind my house, my career, and everything I've worked towards for seven years because _you're_ not there. I have come _more_ than half way for you. I want my family back. Am I alone or do you want that, too?"

* * *

 _Three months later  
Anchorage  
_"-I pronounce you man and wife. Nathan, you may kiss your bride."

Their families cheered and then mingled. Nate's little sister Meg was already married to Honor's little brother Oli. Their boy, Jack, was the happiest baby. The jokes about Raven and Xander inevitably "following the family tradition" brought disgusted laughter.

Nate's space-pirate grandfather even attended. Delighted with his great-grandchildren, he took them for a spin in the Starjammers, which gave Nate some rare one-on-one time with his father.

"It just occurred to me," Scott said, "We've never discussed the birds and the bees."

Nate smirked. "I've figured it out."

"Sure you don't want some tips?"

"I've been thinking a lot lately about the future. When I left Wakanda, I thought I'd never be happy again. Now I realize life's not meant to be lived linearly. You stumble this way and that, figuring things out as you go."

His father said nothing but took a long drink.

"Honor and I are going to stay here. We've been approved to establish an X-Quarters, the first in Alaska."

"Thought you two hated Xavier's legacy."

"I never said that. I hated what it did to my family. But I think – we _both_ think we can get it right. Out here, there's no back-biting, no politics. This is a chance to build something new. And we want you to be a part of it."

"How?" he scowled.

"A lot of these places are only accessible by plane. Bad weather. No runways. A bush pilot can make good money for little work. All it takes is balls of steel. Come on, the twins are in high-school. They don't need you home every night! And Emma would be glad to see your backside from time to time." _You had no problem leaving_ _ **me**_ _alone_ , Nate thought, but kept it to himself. His father had treated him unfairly, but it also was unfair to compare the hungry young man who married Madelyne to the weathered one who married Emma.

"I'd like to see you and Annabelle more but… this is a big decision. How long till you need an answer?"

"End of the month."

Scott nodded. "Your grandfather's back. Looks like they didn't crash."

"With Annie and Jackie abroad, he probably never broke the sound barrier."

"Glad he didn't ransom them."

"The villains would've died of old age before he reached them. _Jesus_ , stop worrying, old man."

* * *

North-X was never destined for epic stories. For starters, they were too far removed from the other teams. Secondly, they never worked with Wolverine. Honor was their "wild card" but she always came home at the end of a mission. And if anything got too hairy, Nate could fix everything with his Omega-level powers. How unpredictable could things get? But they had a good run.

Annabelle grew into a tomboy who preferred astronomy and entomology over princesses and fairy-tales. She was a natural leader and never hesitated to take charge of her younger cousins. (Which Nate appreciated because it meant she wouldn't let them watch fairy-tales either.)

He wished he'd been younger when she was born; she'd make an excellent adventurer.

Puck, Northstar, Colossus, Cyclops and others took turns on the team, but no one really _stayed_. Honor habitually inspired _Eros_ or ire.

Nate couldn't tolerate that although he understood it perfectly. She softened the harshness of the world, but she also busted his balls when he disappointed her. There were moments when the world existed only for their union and he wished time would freeze. Then there were days he loathed that man who exchanged vows with her and trapped him forever, for she was the enemy and he was her victim. It was never one or the other – she was both a treasure and a burden. And he was better for it.

…

 _To Be Continued.._


End file.
